How man started surfing porn on the Internet?

(1999 – some small town in Karnataka/Maharashtra/UP/Bihar/Jharkhand)

Those were the dark days of Internet. Those were the times when it took at least ten calls to the ominous VSNL servers (yes it was Videsh Sanchar Nigam Limited then) to connect to the Internet for a maximum of half an hour and at a speed of 32 KBPS. Internet at homes was a luxury (that’s an understatement). Internet at cyber cafes would cost Rs. 100 per hour and they also charged you for connection downtime. If a cyber café was able to clock one hour without any disconnections and a download speed of 12 KBPS, it proudly declared at its doorsteps in big bold letters “HIGH SPEED INTERNET AVAILABLE”, the only thing that was missing in those declaration was a statutory warning in font size eight:

“Please be careful or you might get hit by another speeding cyber café on the information superhighway”.

So as the nation was progressing on the information highway and would soon be taking on the world as an IT superpower, there was this kid studying Information Technology / BCA / Computer Engineering, dreaming about Silicon Valley where he would soon be headed to start his own multi-million dollar portal. But our guy had no idea that he would soon change the history of mankind forever.

So our guy who had just learnt about web browsers and HTML and left clicks and right clicks visited one of these “High Speed Cyber Café”, to do some research on AltaVista (yes Google wasn’t God then). After the initial hoopla of the modem and the phones the VSNL server finally gives way and gets connected. The other two computers were occupied by people who were sending e-mails to their kids in USA. The cyber café guy charged Rs. 50 for each email and Rs. 10 extra for typing. So our cool guy shrugged at the people who couldn’t even type and took a computer. Confidently he pointed the mouse on the Netscape icon on Window’s 98 desktop (yes he believed that open source will be THE thing in the future) and the hour glass on the mouse starts rotating. After some 500 rotations Netscape browser finally opens. Carefully he clicked on the dropdown button on the address bar and selected AltaVista from the options and hits “Enter”. The hour glass started rotating once again.

After some five hundred rotations he takes a look at the status bar (yes he remembers all the jargons and parts of the browser) it says “2 of 579 items downloaded”. He looks around him. Everyone is busy surfing the high speed internet. He looked at the rotating hourglass, he lost count. The rotating hourglass casts a spell on him, it hypnotizes him. His eyes turn bleary, the eyelids feel as if they have lead blocks hanging from them and slowly he goes into deep slumber. The hourglass continued to do its work.

(Picture source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Altavista-1999.png.)

Suddenly he was shaken wide awake. He opened his eyes to see the cyber café guy standing next to him, “Bhai saab aapka vyavsaay khul gaya”. “’Vyavsaay’, what the fuck is that?” he thought and took a look at the computer screen. “Oh ok the website”, he thought with a wry smile. He punched the air in triumph as he saw the oldies still struggled with their email typing. Then something hit him. “What was I here to search for”, he thought. He thought hard. He thought harder. AltaVista stared at him. “Fuck! What was I supposed to search for”, he thought again. Desperately he checked his watch. He checked with the cyber café guy, “Bhaiya kitna time hua?” “Adhaa ghanta ho gaya aapka”, the cyber café guy said looking up his register. 

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! How could I forget? Why the fuck did I sleep? Fuck!”

And then the light of dawn descended upon him. His eyes brightened up and he clicked on the search box of AltaVista. Rubbing his fingers he carefully pressed four keys on the keyboard. F U C K and hit enter. The hourglass started doing its job again. In a few minutes the browser became blank and then in another couple of minutes there were thousands of links on the page telling him about “Girls in bikinis”, “Hot Celebrities Nude”, “Lesbian Girls” and what not. He was taken to the new heights of pleasure as he read the names of the websites. His fingers started to sweat and he eyed the browser with lust. Rubbing his fingers again he pointed the mouse at the first link and clicked. Instantly the hourglass appeared and got down to its business of rotating, putting a spell around him, a spell which would satiate his lust. His eyes became heavy and once again he nodded off.

He dreamt that he was boasting about his virtual sexcapades to his friends, who on hearing his stories writhed in jealousy. He told them about seeing nude shots of Jenifer Aniston and Jennifer Lopez and even Madhuri Dixit making love. Suddenly he was jolted again out of the slumber land. The cyber café guy was yelling at him “Boss ye kya khol diya, ye family cyber café hai. Isko abhi band karo.” He rubbed his eyes and saw naked girls with larger than life breasts and men with larger than life penis on his browser. “Band karo usko”, the cyber café guy shouted again. The oldies strained their necks to take a look at the booty on our guy’s screen. He hit the close button. The hourglass rotated a few times and the Windows 98 desktop appeared. Dejected as if his newlywed wife has just denied sex with him, he rose from his seat and went to the counter to pay. With a heavy heart he fished out a hundred rupee note from his wallet as the two oldies came and stood behind him.

“Lagta hai computer seekhna padega”, said one of the oldies. “Haan main bhi soch raha hoon. Kal se hi typing classes join kar lete hain”, said the other.

The next day, after having remembered what he had to search for, our guy visited the same cyber café. He was amazed to see that each of the cubicles had a curtain which hid the computers from view. “Aapke liye special lagwaya hai”, said the cyber café guy with a toothy grin.

To the unknown.

unnamed, originally uploaded by CellPhoneClicker.

Unknown faces like a sea
Unknown whispers like a stream
Unknown eyes unknown feet
Pursuing unknown dreams

Unknown griefs unknown sorrows
The city lends and we borrow

Unknown sons unknown daughters
Unknown mountains to climb
Unknown lives unknown partners
Reveling in unknown triumphs

Rendezvous

Nadhiya a.k.a @mad_nad on Twitter gets a big box of Ferrero Rocher for helping me out in this story.

Rendezvous

She got off the auto rickshaw as it stopped, paid the driver and picked up an orange and white striped polythene carry bag from the seat on which she was sitting. She pushed her shades on her head like a hair band and immediately squinted her eyes. She pushed the glass door which declared ‘Madras Laundry’ in faded silver paint and entered the shop. A man in pure white half sleeved shirt, with oiled black hair and a pot belly jumped up from behind the counter like a jack in the box. She kept the polythene bag on the white laminated counter with a bored look on her face.

“All these are for dry cleaning”, asked the man behind the counter.

“Yes. And I want them tomorrow”, she said.

“Okay no problem”, he said. “Wow! This stuff looks expensive, have you been shopping”, he added pulling out a red lace negligee.

“That’s a gift from one of my client in Dubai”, she replied.

She heard the door open and from the corner of her eyes saw a man in a black suit enter and stood silently behind her looking at the shop owner. The shop owner did not bother to look at the man. She noticed the man was tall, had a fair skin and brown eyes and looked like a typical north Indian in his early forties. The man nodded and smiled. She didn’t respond and turned her attention back to the shop owner.

The shop owner pulled out a pair of black lace underwear from the bag. “Idhu super a kavarchi a iruku” (this is very sexy), he said in Tamil, feeling the material with his fingers. She gave an embarrassed smile.

“Adengappa!” (Very nice), his white teeth glinted from between his brown lips. She looked at the pictures of Gods lined up on the wall behind him as he pulled out a pair of pink push up bras.

“Sema abasam a iruku” (this is skimpy), he said, with a quick glance on her full breasts and slim waist. His face glowed in lust as he felt the two cups in his hands.

The man standing behind her shuffled uncomfortably.

“Anna, pinnadi nikra ala tension agaporraru” (Brother you are freaking out this man here), she said, pronouncing each word carefully.

“Your Tamil is getting better”, he said looking up and shoving the clothes back into the bag.

“I have been studying”, she smirked and turned around to leave.

“Have a nice day” she said to the man in black suit.

“Intha naal iniya naalaga amaiyattum” (you too have a nice day), the man replied in perfect Tamil.

With her eyes and mouth wide open she crashed in to the glass door of the shop.

Image Courtesy: http://hierroglyphic.blogspot.com/2009/03/taking-in-laundry.html

The Sun

The Sun, originally uploaded by CellPhoneClicker.

Someday the sun shines
Sometimes bright
Never wrong
Never right
The path lies
Never altered
Time flies
As I walk
Someone walks beside
Always there
Like the sun
Somewhere
Always

Silver

Now

The locksmith picked a bronze key with metallic spots on its sides, from a ring of thousand keys and inserted it into the door lock. The inspector standing behind him coughed, the constable behind the inspector scratched his buttocks, and the three people in plain clothes looked on.

The locksmith jiggled the key inside the lock and pressed the latch downwards. The door gave way. Immediately the six human beings put their hands on their nose.

“That’s the stink we told you about on the phone”, said the man in a smart off white shirt and grey trousers. The inspector looked at the man through his dark Raybans and waved at the locksmith. The locksmith got his clue and left.

With handkerchiefs on their nose the five people entered the flat. The constable immediately started looking around.

From the leather couch near the wall, to the carpet on the floor, to the huge TV on the wall, to the curtains on the French windows everything looked expensive.

‘It must feel like heaven to live like this, except for the stink’, thought the inspector.

“Sir, I have found something”, they heard the constable calling out from the bedroom.

The constable was sitting on his haunches looking under the bed when they entered. The inspector bent down and took a look.

“Detective”, the inspector gestured towards the man in dirty blue jeans and grey t-shirt.

The man whipped out a pair of white rubber gloves from his pocket and got down on his knees. The naked body was concealed in the darkness below the bed. A thin steel wire was wrapped around its neck. A thin line of maroon blood had flown from the wound and had clotted on the floor. After feeling the neck of the body the detective looked up at the inspector.

“How long”, asked the inspector.

“Three days. At least”, said the detective.

Three Days Back.

Under the golden streetlight behind the silvery smoke her slender figure was visible. The flawless skin on her shoulder showed through her sleeveless dress. The flowers on her short white dress fluttered in the night wind showing off her glistening long legs. She bent down and picked up her hand bag from the ground and slung it around her shoulder.

‘It’s almost time’, she thought checking her silver wrist watch.

She turned her head. A pair of bright lights appeared at the end of the road. She heard the sea roaring behind her. She noticed the four ring insignia on the grill of the SUV first. As the car drew closer she read the number plate. That’s the number her sister had told her while she lay wreathing in pain on the healing platform.

She stretched her hand, the wrist watch shimmered. The car came to halt near her and the dark window glass slowly slid towards the earth.

“I am unable to get a cab can you please help me” she said popping her head inside the car.

“Yeah sure”, said the man with a smile. She opened the door and slid into the black leather seat beside him.

From the side of her eyes she saw him looking at her body.

“Where do you have to go”, he asked.

“Well I am very hungry right now”, she said looking into his black eyes. She noticed he had thick black hair on his head, a thick moustache and fair skin, exactly like her sister had told her.

“It’s almost one, I don’t think any restaurant would be open”, he said. “I am going to my place it’s just around the corner, if you want I can fix something for you. I am good cook”.

“That would be great” she said. “I hope it is not much of a trouble for you”, she added quickly with an apologetic look.

“Not at all, the pleasure is mine”, he said looking into her eyes. “Have I seen you somewhere”, he asked her.

“No but I have definitely heard that line before”, she laughed. He laughed too.

“By the way I am DK”, he said.

“I am Argeni”, she said.

“That’s an unusual name. You are not from around here are you”, he said.

“No”, she shook her head smiling.

He took a right turn and passed through the gate of a tall building. The watchman came running to the car and saluted him. DK opened the door, got out and threw the keys at the watchman. He then opened the door for Argeni. Inside the lift DK pressed the button numbered 16. In a few seconds the doors opened. DK walked towards a brown door, slid a key into the lock and opened it.

“You have a beautiful house”, Argeni remarked as DK disappeared into the kitchen.

“Can I help”, she asked as she followed him in to the kitchen and saw him pouring some red wine into one of the two wine glasses.

“Sure, can you please chop some bell peppers for me”, said DK handing her a glass.

“Thanks. Sure”, she said, took off her hand bag from her shoulder and kept it on the kitchen counter.

She took a sip from the glass, picked up a knife and started chopping a bell pepper. She felt DK’s hand sliding slowly around her waist, and his moustache on the nape of her neck. As the musk fragrance from his body filled her senses, her eyes started to turn grey and she rolled her head on his shoulder with a soft purr.

Next Morning.

Argeni woke up with a start. The whole bedroom was filled with sunlight. Her body ached. She threw the covers back and jumped out of the bed. She bent down and picked up her floral dress and slid it over her head. She checked her silvery hair in the mirror and looked around the room for her hand bag.

Then she remembered she had left the handbag on the kitchen counter last night. She went into the kitchen and picked up the bag from the counter.

She was ready to leave.

She bent down to place the handbag on the floor. From the kitchen door she could see halfway into the bedroom. Below the bed she could see thin line of maroon fluid.

She straightened herself, keeping her eyes on the maroon line and put her left leg inside the bag. The kitchen was instantly filled with a blinding flash which left nothing but a cloud of silvery smoke behind.