A sharp rap
of something falling woke me up. I rubbed my eyes and looked around as she
snuggled up into my quilt. I picked up the clock on the bedside table it showed
1:30 a.m. The reading lamp was still on and the copy of “Of Love and Other
Demons” had fallen off my chest on the carpet.
“Are you
awake?” She asked, her voice husky with sleep.
“Yeah, what happened sweetheart?” I asked.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
I pulled her up over my chest and kissed her forehead. Her head moved as my chest rose up and down as I breathed.
“What is love?” She asked.
“Umm what…?” I wasn’t prepared for such a question from her in the middle of the night.
“Do you know what love is?” She asked sitting up beside me. She rubbed her brown eyes. Her black hair tumbled down on her shoulders as I held her by her waist thinking over her question.
“Well”, I said, pushing a strand of hair away from her forehead, “Love is what’s between you and me. I love you.”
“Why do you love me?”
“I love you because… you are the most beautiful girl I know. And because you share your chocolates with me. I love you because you look like me when you laugh.” I said, tickling her ribs. She wiggled in my grip, laughing and laid her head on my chest.
“Does mom love me?”
A flurry of memories came back to me in an instant. The fights over petty things had begun two years after our marriage. Some days it would be just a few minutes of silence followed by a bit of making up with flowers and kisses followed by passionate love making. On other days she would lock herself up, until she cried herself hoarse.
“Yeah she does.” I replied with a sigh patting her small back.
“Do you love mom?”
I played with her hair. My thoughts still traced our common path which had come to a point where Ira decided to take a different turn. She wanted to continue with her career in advertising. I did not want my daughter growing up under the care of a hired help. She filed for divorce and a long battle for the custody of our daughter started. I won the case but the win left me emotionally exhausted and a sour taste in the mouth.
“Dad?” She raised her head and looked at me. I saw her eyes were exactly like Ira’s.
“Yeah, I was in love with her.” I replied.
“Was! You mean you are not in love with her anymore?”
I smiled wondering how her little head could analyse so much. Ira always told me her thought process was like me.
“Why doesn’t she live with us? Why does she live with someone else?”
I didn’t have the answers to her questions, only excuses. She sensed it in my eyes.
“I think love is a living being.” She said.
“Really! How?” I asked, surprised at the seriousness of her voice.
“Yeah, you see it begins, like being born and then it lives for some time and then it dies, like between you and mom.”
I looked blankly through her. The love between me and Ira was born when we were in college, but it was short lived and had died long before it could grow.
“Miss Shalini says sharing is loving. Is it true dad?”
“Yes it is, in a way.”
“You remember the donut you packed me for tiffin this morning?”
I nodded.
“Well I shared it with Aamir.”
“You mean
the boy who saves a seat for you in the bus every day.”
“Yeah, and he shared a cheese sandwich with me. I think we are in love.” Her innocent voice was heavy with sleep. I smiled seeing my daughter growing up so fast.
Oh boy... I so much loved it. So much. Excellent written Vivek, thumb up! Perfect!
ReplyDeleteHey dear amazingly simple, innocent and touching ...good work keep it up ...I simply loved it man..
ReplyDeleteBeautiful :)
ReplyDeleteI love this daughter, the earlier Innocent Questions was also very touching and this is soo well written :)
amazingly beautiful
ReplyDelete"A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart."
ReplyDeletevery well written
Very beautifully written! ekdum fresh!
ReplyDeleteSo cute ya! And fictionally you are a cool dad! My dad or my hubby would be super paranoid about a boy sharing stuff with his kiddo! Haha!
ReplyDelete