You have been Vuvuzelaed.

Come appraisals and people start talking about the torturous corporate life. Of many things that they talk one thing is common in all the offices and that’s the ‘corporate bamboo’ or as my ex-boss used to pronounce it ‘bumboo’. So everytime she got it up her’s she would very gratefuly pass it on to us or should I say up to us. But I have a feeling that after this FIFA World Cup the ‘corporate bumboo’ will be replaced by the ubiquitous Vuvuzela.

The Coporate Vuvuzela. The word itself is so annoying that it will make people shudder. When a boss will call an employee inside his cabin who had just missed a deadline, the people outside would be saying ‘Oh the guy’s gonna be Vuvuzelaed today’. I was even wondering since Mr. Obama isn’t very keen on outsourcing and now that India is not the only hub of outsourcing jobs, the phrase ‘your job has been Bangalored’ will be changed to ‘your job has been Vuvuzelaed’.

One must be thinking why should the notorious bumboo which has been there ever since the corporates came into being, be replaced with something as new as Vuvuzela? Let me tell you:

• Vuvuzela, as wikipedia says, derives its name from the word ‘zulu’ which in African means to make noise and was invented in 1965. So its not as new as one thinks it is.
  
  
• The Corporate Vuvuzela (due to its shape) can serve a similar purpose with as much ease as the Corporate Bumboo.
  
  
• And while its being used the victim is bound to make noises though the type and source of noise in the case of Corporate Vuvuzela will be a bit different.
  
  
• And last but not the least it can be used by anyone and on anyone without much training irrespective of their age, sex, qualification or communication skills.

So once again its appraisal time. Some of the companies are already through with the process and some, like mine are still at work. So one can see people huddled in groups during coffee breaks and lunch breaks discussing who will get the corporate vuvuzela.

So when the boss calls me to hand over the appraisal letter to me he would say ‘Dude I tried very hard but you failed to impress us this time. I was expecting a lot more from you. But if you perform well next time I promise you, you will get a lot better raise’. So along with the invisible carrot I see something written on my appraisal letter, something which cant be read by anyone else ‘You have been Vuvuzelaed’.